The Deepest Source of Meaning

Where good psychology and theology agree

In 1938, Harvard funded a longitudinal research project on happiness. They followed 268 Harvard graduates and 456 disadvantaged youths who were raised in Boston's inner city. For 85 years, they studied their IQ, health, success, and life outcomes to discover the key to happiness.

And what did they find as the most critical factor in our well-being?

Relationships.

As Dr. Robert Waldinger summarized in his best-selling book The Good Life, “The clearest message we get from this 85-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.”

Viktor Frankl, whom I’ve mentioned in previous posts, said something similar. Although he didn’t believe that happiness could be pursued directly, he did think we could find something better: lasting meaning. And what was the source of lasting meaning? You guessed it:

Relationships.

He believed that it was his meaningful relationship with his wife that kept him alive in Auschwitz. Just the thought of her buoyed his spirit, even when the Nazi soldiers were berating him.

He said, “The salvation of man is through love and in love. I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss... in the contemplation of his beloved.”

Designed for love

What modern research and psychology are only now discovering, Scripture has long affirmed. From the very beginning of time, when everything God created was good, the Lord said that it was “not good” for a person to be alone. God created us to be devoted to each other in meaningful relationships.

When Jesus was asked about the ultimate meaning and purpose of life, he responded that we are to love the Lord God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love our neighbors. In other words, our ultimate purpose as human beings is to love.

As Paul wrote to the Corinthians, if we do not have love, we are nothing (1 Corinthians 13:2) All that we have done and acquired means nothing, if we don’t have love.

Giving and receiving love make life meaningful. And that makes us happy. That’s how God made us.  

Putting it into practice

If you are searching for meaning and purpose in your life, start by investing in your most important relationships.

Be willing to make the sacrifices necessary to “win friends and influence people.” Or as Jesus said, “I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings.” (Luke 16:9) Jesus is saying that friendship comes with a cost, a cost of time, money, and energy. But, according to Jesus, the price you pay has eternal benefits. Such relationships give you meaning now and everlasting joy in the life to come.

So what are you going to do?

Maybe it’s time to invest in one of your deepest sources of meaning.  

Maybe it’s time to give your friend a call.